The rules

This is a joke. The list doesn’t measure anything, and being on it says nothing about anyone’s sexuality. Around here “gayest” is the highest compliment there is, and that’s how we mean it.

How the list works

• $5 puts a name at number one. The newest paid name always wears the crown, and everyone else moves down one.
• Buying a name that’s already listed moves it back to the top.
• There’s no minimum stay. Someone could take the crown a minute after you do.

Which names you can use

Your own name, a made-up name, or the name of a friend who’d love it.

Don’t use someone’s name to embarrass, out or harass them. Also off limits are slurs, hate, sexual content, ads, links, phone numbers and social handles.

Removals and refunds

• Anyone who finds their own name on the list can have it removed. Email hello@milesonmedia.com.
• We can remove any name that breaks these rules at any time, with no refund.
• Sales are final once your name appears, because you’ve got what you paid for.
• If you paid and your name never appeared, email us and we’ll fix it or refund you.

The first names on the list

We made those up so the crown had somewhere to sit. They’re fictional, and nobody paid for them.

Last updated November 5, 2026.